Habit 4: Think Win-Win teaches that win-lose is an attitude toward life that says the pie of success is only so big, and if you get a big piece, then someone else will get a small piece. Win-lose is competitive. Relationships, friendships, and loyalty are all secondary to winning the game, being the best, and having it your way. But in the end, win-lose will usually backfire. You may end up on the top of the totem pole, but you’ll be there alone and without friends.
Jarvis Exercise:
- Read the Win-Lose—The Totem Pole section on pages
- Read the win-lose scenarios on the next pages.
- After each scenario, describe how you can change the win-lose situation to a win-win.
- Scenario 1: You see that only one cupcake is left, and you and your little brother both want it.You figure that since you’re the oldest, you should be the one to get it. So, you take the last cupcake and shove it in your mouth.Your brother cries and runs away.
- **Scenario 2:**Your dad says you have to rake the leaves before you go to the concert, but you want to get there early so you can get a good seat.When your dad goes inside to make a telephone call, you take off for the concert, leaving the leaves blowing in the wind.
- Scenario 3: As you and your friend are walking toward Dylan’s car, you both call,“Front seat.”Your friend is wearing heels, and you know you can move faster than she can. So, you sprint towards the car and quickly get in the front seat before your friend can catch up.
- Scenario 4: At the video store you see your next-door neighbour. It turns out you are both there to pick up them same video. As you walk together toward the display case, you see that there is only one video left, so you grab it before he can get it.
- Scenario 5: Your twin brother, Reggie, has been looking forward to his date with Patty all week. Friday at school Patty’s friend, Serena, asks you out.Your family has only one car, and you know your brother had planned to use it. But you’ve wanted to go out with Serena for a long time, and you’re not going to miss your chance. So a half an hour before your brother is supposed to leave, you take the car to go pick up Serena.