What if you were to go to the doctor and he or she prescribed some medication without diagnosing your illness? Would you be confident that the medication would cure you? Would you trust the doctor and follow his or her orders?

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood explains the importance of diagnosing before prescribing. In communication, this works as you listen first and talk second.

Jarvis Exercise:

  1. Read The Deepest Need of the Human Heart section on pages
  2. The poem on page _ of the Teens book describes three different (but similar) situations. In the space below, describe how each situation would make you feel.
Situation How would this make you feel
When I ask you to listen to me and you
start giving me advice, you have not
done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you
begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you
feel you have to do something to solve
my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
  1. Write about a time when you have been in one of the situations described in the poem. How could the situation have been improved?